


Internet Boyfriends

by dizzy



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-10
Updated: 2013-11-09
Packaged: 2018-01-01 00:32:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1038221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris and Darren are online boyfriends. (Written for cc-week on tumblr.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Connected

Chris wakes up to an email from Darren.   
  
It's boring background details to anyone else, but for Chris it's a picture being painted. He blinks the sleep from his eyes as the words swim into focus in front of him. His phone isn't enough for this. Darren's emails require a full, wide screen to really take in. It's become this morning ritual for them, since the first time Chris mentioned how much he loved waking up to an email from Darren. 

Darren hasn't missed a morning since then.

  
He reads about Darren's brother making him get up early and how he's got a few errands to run before he'll be online. He talks about a dream he had last night (fighting dragons in armor made of spray cheese, _and Chris you were totally there - turns out I wasn't the knight anyway, you rescued me_ ) and links to a couple of articles he read on his laptop while he was on the crapper.

They'll have to have words about what is TMI; Darren only has a passing familiarity with the concept.

Somehow Darren manages to fill five paragraphs with nothing, the kind of nothing that makes Chris feel like he was really there. He loves that feeling. He even loves that after Darren did all those things he did, he sat down and wrote them out for Chris. Chris is  _part_ of his routine. 

He's barely finished with the email when a new one appears. This one has a picture attached. It's Darren, his face familiar and yet not, somehow different with every new image and angle. He's kneeling down with a dog beside him, the dog panting and happy, Darren shaggy and beaming.

_Milo is my new best bud. We need to get a dog when we're in college!!_

The butterflies turn to liquid pleasure, swooping and swishing in his gut.

It's not even a thing they question anymore. Nine months of trying so hard to close the three hours between them, almost a year of knowing each other and wanting to meet. They haven't bridged that gap yet for so many reasons - Darren's car being taken away from him for half a year as punishment for too many tickets, Chris not even having a car, Chris's parents being too strict to let him borrow theirs and Darren's weekends being too full of rehearsals and recitals and meetings and meets and shows now for him to be able to make it. Now they've both got finals coming up and even if Darren could make it, Chris is struggling and needs all the extra homework hours.

Darren spent a week trying to convince Chris that he could tell his parents he was going to tutor someone and they'd let him get away with it. He hadn't let up on that idea until Chris pointed out, in the dark of his room over Skype, that if Darren showed up homework was the last thing he'd be doing.

Half an hour and a truly epic mutual masturbation session together, and Darren saw his point.

Chris is, strangely enough, not in a hurry. Meeting Darren is something that will happen. When doesn't seem to matter nearly as much as he might have thought it would. They'll have time together, so much time. It's almost summer and the days stretch in front of them with promise. When his parents asked what he wanted for his seventeenth birthday, he told them that he wanted to visit Darren.

Of course, they're insisting on meeting him first, but - Chris won't be picky. Darren's parents already know, and even though they haven't set a date... it'll happen. He's seventeen in another couple of weeks. (Darren has something planned, but he won't tell Chris yet.)

Chris rolls over in bed and yawns, stretching until his bones burst with achy relief from it. He doesn't need to get up yet, but he can smell breakfast so his stomach will lure him out of bed soon enough.

He grabs his phone and turns on the front facing camera, snapping a sleepy picture to text back to Darren with a caption that reads _good morning, baby_.


	2. Date Night

Darren's friends think he's ridiculous for blowing off the chance to go to a concert because it's date night. Darren's friends think he's ridiculous for even having a date night. They think he's ridiculous for having this boyfriend, three hours away that he's never met, and for treating the relationship just like any of them treat theirs. He's crazy busy lately, getting ready for his senior year and making sure he can get into the college he wants, so if he wants to make sure he spends time with Chris - even online - he has to make the time.   
  
Boyfriend, or a bunch of idiots (awesome idiots, idiots he loves, but idiots) he sees every day in school? It's not even something he has to think twice about. He even gets a little pissed off when his friends talk about ways to get _out_ of having to spend time with their girlfriends. If Chris lived closer, they'd be inseparable, Darren knows it.

Hell, he thinks he's a better boyfriend than half of his friends are. He sent Chris a cookie basket and flowers on his birthday - not to school, Chris would fucking _kill_ him for that - and, okay, his mom had to order it but he gave her all the money that he'd saved from playing gigs at his classmates parties and giving violin lessons to little kids to pay for it.

The cookies were shaped like Yoda and Chewie. He's totally boss at this whole boyfriend thing. Chris makes it easy, though. So Darren doesn't care what his friends find ridiculous. He'd rather spend three hours with Chris over the internet, and that's why he rushes home after school to get showered and decide what to wear. He lingers over his underwear draw, smirking. Most of their date nights end with their pants shoved around their thighs furiously jerking off while they watch each other and whisper what they'd do to each other if they were there.

Darren stays half hard the entire time he gets ready and only just manages to get it under control when he heads down for dinner. This is what  _date night_ does to him. His only consolation is that he knows it does the same to Chris, too. They get off on the promise of uninterrupted time together  - and they won't be interrupted, both of their families know it. After months of both of them having to deal with people constantly assuming that what they did on the computer couldn't be that important, they'd both laid down the law in their respective homes.

Date night is sacred time. Popcorn is popped, sodas are hoarded on the nightstand, doors are locked. 

It's just the two of them.   
  
"So what are you watching tonight?" His mother asks.   
  
She sounds amused and indulgent, a little bit patronizing but she's so cool about everything that Darren doesn't even care. "I don't know," he says. "Maybe Iron Man."   
  
"I'd go gay for RDJ," Chuck says, reaching out to swipe a second roll.   
  
Darren sticks his tongue out at Chuck. "I'm not gay. I'm bisexual."   
  
Everyone in his family teases Darren. It's his new favorite word. He even has a t-shirt. Bi-pride. No closet can contain him, he's out and he wants everyone to know it.   
  
Chris will probably find it obnoxious, but Darren doesn't care. That's why he wants Chris to come to San Francisco. They can hold hands and go on dates and it'll be fucking _awesome_.   
  
But for now, their dates involve more wifi and less touching, and that's okay too. He shovels his food down and practically dances in his chair. Chris is usually online earlier than he is, which just makes Darren want those extra few minutes.   
  
His father finally says, with a laugh, "Go on, then."   
  
"Thanks!" Darren shoots out of his seat and takes the stairs two at a time.   
  
*   
  
Four hours, one movie, and two hushed but fantastic orgasms (Chris liked the underwear) later Darren is in bed under the covers. He's on his side - not how he normally sleeps, but this way is more conducive to seeing Chris.   
  
His laptop is on the pillow beside him and he can see Chris's face, beautiful and sleepy. There's a fierce squirming feeling in his chest, an impatience inside of him to get to the next step, to be in a place where Chris is beside him for real and not just on the camera.   
  
"How many days?" He asks.   
  
"Eleven," Chris says.   
  
Darren already knew. He just wanted to see Chris smile when he said it. "Are you excited?"   
  
"I can't wait." Chris pauses to yawn. "Hannah's excited, too."   
  
"Aww. I can't believe I get to meet her, too - and your folks, and... I get to see your room, right?" Darren grins.   
  
Chris rolls his eyes. "Whatever you're thinking, no. I can almost guarantee you that my mom will not leave us alone in my room while you're here."   
  
He'll be spending one night at Chris's house, so Chris's parents can... well, Darren isn't sure, maybe check his car over for dead bodies or axes, give him some sort of psych screening... make sure he's actually who he says he is?   
  
And then Chris comes back with Darren for an entire week. There's a lot they haven't told Chris's parents; like how Darren's don't care if Chris stays in Darren's room, or how Darren is planning on taking Chris to the youth night at one of the gay clubs in town, or how Darren is pretty sure he can score some weed from his friend's sister and how he might try and convince Chris to get high with him.   
  
He's never had sex while he's been high before. He's never had sex before, so how could he have? And yeah - yeah, he thinks that'll happen, too, but... in a way he feels like it already has. He knows Chris's body even though he's never touched it, and Chris knows all the right things to do and say. He's sure there will be nerves, but it's Chris, and nothing about Chris is all that scary to him except the idea that one day Chris might not even be there.   
  
His friends tell him that he's ridiculous to have so much faith in this. That there might not be any chemistry, Chris might not be as hot in real life, that he might be weird - but Darren has talked to Chris on the phone, spend so many hours over video chat with him. Chris follows him through every step he makes, text message and instant message and picture message and he knows where Chris is all of the time and Chris always knows where he is and there's no way all that would just work, right? If the rest of the stuff didn't work, too?   
  
So it will, and Darren is just - he's sure.   
  
"Hey," Chris says, interrupting his thoughts. "Are you asleep?"   
  
"No," Darren says, though his voice sounds sleepier than he'd expected. "Uh. Maybe, almost."   
  
Chris just laughs. "Go to bed. I'll talk to you tomorrow."   
  
"Mmm." Darren yawns again and scratches at the hint of stubble on his cheek. "Love you."   
  
"I love you, too." Chris's voice is sweet and right there in his ears. He takes one more long look at Chris's face and then shuts his laptop, cloaking the room in darkness.


	3. Fall(ing)

It's early November when someone mentions to Darren that a picture of his Halloween costume (Douchebag Harry Potter) made it totally internet-famous on some upvoting website.   
  
He, being a teenage of average to high vanity levels, immediately went and checked it out. He was hyped; it had THOUSANDS of comments. A fair amount of them talked about how good looking he was, too. 

  
He briefly contemplates the idea of posting a video of himself singing, too. The Douchebag Potter costume just wasn't complete without the guitar and tunes.   
  
But that leads him to wondering exactly who posted the picture in the first place.   
  
A guy he doesn't even know. Chris Colfer, from Clovis. Darren hasn't even heard of Clovis.   
  
So he sends the guy an email. He doesn't really care that it got posted. He's just curious as to how.   
  
*   
  
Chris freaks out when he gets the email.   
  
He found it on flickr, during an embarrassingly shameless attempt at finding pictures of hot guys dressed like Harry Potter to which he could think untoward thoughts.   
  
But he can't exactly say that, can he?   
  
So when he writes back he just says he can't remember.   
  
Then he adds how much he liked the costume in the first place and hopes that flattery will keep him from getting his ass kicked.   
  
It must work, because the reply contains half a dozen pictures of Darren with his various friends, including a Ron and a Hermione, and a few youtube links.   
  
It takes about twenty minutes for Chris to fall in love.   
  
*   
  
For Darren, it's a few weeks, at least, though he does know from day one that Chris is an awesome guy that he wants to be friends with. They add each other on facebook so Chris can see the rest of Darren's pictures, and that first email conversation meanders from Harry Potter and Halloween to school (they're the same age) and music (they have similar taste, though Darren's a little more intense about it) to movies and books.   
  
Before the week is up the email thread has capped and spilled over into another one. When Darren goes over on his data plan because he spends too much time emailing Chris from his phone, they exchange numbers.   
  
They text twice as much as they'd been emailing before. It's a constant back and forth. Darren's always been a chatty kind of guy but he's never clicked with someone so fast.   
  
"Dude, do you have a new girlfriend or something?" One of his friends asked while he's glued to his phone at lunch one day. "You haven't looked up."   
  
"Um. No. It's a guy," Darren says.   
  
"Oh." His friend just shrugs and goes back to eating, but the idea is sort of just... there now, in Darren's mind.   
  
He hasn't had a girlfriend in a couple of months. He dated his last one for a year, though, and he never felt half as drawn to her as he does to Chris.   
  
*   
  
It's almost December, which means he's known Darren for close to a month, when Chris opens a text message that reads:   
  
_So, are you into guys?_


	4. Opposites Attract

Chris prefers privacy. Darren likes an audience.   
  
Their first kiss almost happens in the foyer of Chris's house. Their eyes meet when Chris opens the door and Darren practically lurches forward, hands out - he just wants, wants to kiss Chris, wants to touch him, make him even more real.   
  
But it doesn't happen yet because Chris's parents are right behind him and the wild panicked look on his face stops Darren cold. It only takes Darren a second to recover from being flustered by it, smoothing his face into something more charming and less terrified that he's fucked something up right off the bat.

Chris won't meet his eyes again, not until they're upstairs. "Chris, fuck, I'm so sorry, I just saw you and I forgot what you said about your parents, I'm so-"

"I love you. Now shut up," Chris says, and kisses him.

*

Darren sleeps on his stomach. Chris sleeps on his side.

He's never slept in a bed with a boy that wasn't his cousin before.

He's never slept in a bed with someone he was in love with.

He's nervous. He'd really, really underestimated his capacity to be nervous around Darren. They've said so much and shared so much online and over the phone, but there's a whole element of reality with Darren beside him and he just doesn't ever really know what Darren is thinking. It's not like Darren wouldn't share, but asking is so much harder than typing. His mouth won't work the way his fingers would.

Once or twice he actually does grab his phone and text something to Darren instead of telling him. Nothing big or dangerous; an _I love you_ while they were at dinner after Darren bragged about Chris's writing to his parents, a _your ass looks amazing_ when they went out to meet his brother at the music store.

He likes how it made Darren blush, an unexpected little delight.

But right now his phone is plugged in across the room and Darren is just inches away from him, on his stomach with his arms crossed under his head. The room is dark but Chris can see him clearly.

The pillows smell like Darren.

Chris has been half-hard since they walked upstairs but he knows suddenly and without question that he's not ready for sex yet. It's so strange to be wary of something he's been wanting since they first started talking, but - he is.

Darren's parents gave them a little warning about noise and making good decisions, but hadn't forbid anything. He doesn't know what Darren is expecting from him. He doesn't want to disappoint Darren, but he doesn't want this week to turn awkward for either of them.

"Can-" His throat locks. He stops and clears it. Darren waits, so patiently. "Can we kiss? Just - kiss?"

Darren smiles and stretches out. He's not wearing a shirt. Chris is. He pushes himself up, biceps not huge but Chris's eyes still go straight to them. He leans over and puts a hand on Chris's cheek and drops a sweet kiss on his bottom lip. "I would like nothing more."

*

Chris likes sweet snacks. Darren likes salty ones.

They go on their first date on a Sunday night. They go to dinner and a movie. Darren insists on paying because it's Chris's first date, and also just because he really wants to. He wants to do anything and everything he can to make Chris smile this week. He's smitten with that smile, besotted, totally head over heels for it.

Chris agrees, but only if he can take Darren out for their second date.

They sit in the back row of a movie that they've both waited to watch, wanting to see together. Darren leaves to go get the snacks and when he comes back he's juggling a huge Diet Coke, a tub of buttery, greasy popcorn and two boxes of candy.

"We just ate!" Chris says, laughing, but he grabs the box of Whoppers and the drink so Darren can sit down without toppling it all.

The first half hour is an awkward shuffle of eating and trying to touch as much as possible without making it too obvious, even though they're both doing it. Finally Darren asks Chris if he's done with the popcorn and then sets the bucket aside. He puts his arm around Chris's shoulders and leans in, whispering a soft little, "Hey."

As soon as Chris turns to look at him, they're kissing. Chris pulls back after a second, face scrunched up.

"What?" Darren frowns. That's not the usual reaction to a kiss.

"It's just - it tastes like food."

Darren laughs. "We were both just eating, so... too gross? I'm sure they sell gum out there, I can go get some-"

He is not going to be deterred on this whole movie makeout thing. Chris deserves the whole first date experience. Plus, Darren just really wants to kiss him some more.

"No," Chris says, putting a hand on Darren's thigh and leaning in. "I'll get used to it."

*

Darren likes handjobs. Chris likes blowjobs.

Three days of increasingly heated making out basically every time they're left alone (and once when they aren't, though Chuck groans and leaves the room after five minutes anyway) has left Chris re-evaluating his position on sex.

That Darren hasn't pressured him once, has let him set the place completely, helps.

Chris thanks him for it, and Darren just shakes his head. "You don't have to thank me for that. I just want to do what makes you happy and what we both want."

That's when Chris decides he's ready after all.

*

Chris likes staying in. Darren would rather go out.

The problem is just that Darren wants Chris to meet _everyone_. He wants them all to meet Chris. He wants to parade Chris around showing him off. He wants to rub it in the faces of everyone that told him that the pictures he had saved on his phone probably weren't even Chris. Fuck that noise, Chris is even _hotter_ in person. They're lucky Darren is willing to allow them the chance to bask in the hotness of his boyfriend.

(Except that Chris's hotness isn't Darren's to allow or disallow and Darren has no say in who Chris spends time with and Darren is an enlightened boyfriend who definitely doesn't have jealousy issues and hey was that guy checking Chris's ass out because that is so not cool-

Enlightened. Totally.)

They only have three days left and there are still like half a dozen people Chris hasn't met yet. Darren's sitting at his desk with his laptop open, facebook chatting with one friend while on the phone with another. He's been at it for almost an hour, trying to coordinate with people, see how many he can get in one place and where for an impromptu party.

Then he glances to the side and catches a glimpse of Chris's face in the mirror on his door.

Chris has been nothing but smiles and nods when Darren has mentioned all the plans they've had this week - meeting people for lunch or dinner, dropping by jam sessions or concerts, go-karting with his drama group.. but now when he thinks Darren can't see him, he just looks dejected.

"Hey," Darren says to the person on the phone. "I gotta go, I'll call you back."

He hangs up and spins around in his chair. Chris looks up from where he's on his own laptop. He looks so good and happy and at home lounging on Darren's bed that Darren's heart wants to burst from it. He has to take a second to just grin, not caring if it's all kind of goofy, and lifts his phone to take a picture.

Chris rolls his eyes and huffs, but a hint of rednesses rises on his cheeks. Darren thinks that probably means he doesn't really care that much.

"So what do you want to do tonight?" He asks Chris.

Chris looks surprised to even be asked, which makes Darren feel a little guilty. "What? Weren't you making plans?"

Darren shrugs. "It's not really gelling. I mean, I can keep trying if you want me to, but-"

"No, actually." There's no mistaking how relieved Chris sounds. Relieved, and maybe a little excited. "Could we just stay here? Watch movies or something? I mean, it is movie date night..."

"Shit, you're right - I forgot, I mean, I guess I just didn't think-" Darren's face is lit up, laughing. "That's perfect. Yeah, let's watch some movies."

And it is - it's perfect. They end up in their pajamas, snuggled up together under a blanket for five minutes before it gets too warm and they toss it aside. There's popcorn and sandwiches and soda and brownies that they baked with Darren's mom earlier that day and then when the food is depleted, there are sticky sweet kisses and increasingly brave touches.

"Hey," Darren says, wanting to get this out before things get heated and words mean less sense. "You know - if I'm doing too much, or you just want some down time, you just have to tell me. My mom always says I don't have an off button."

"This is nice. Tonight. I like this," Chris says, smiling. He leans in and kisses the corner of Darren's mouth. "When - when we live together, I think I'll just need nights like this... once or twice a week."

"Done," Darren says, giving in to the warmth that overflows in him when Chris talks about their future. "Now come here, I need to kiss you again."

*

Chris hates saying goodbye at the end of the week.

So does Darren.


	5. Small Town Blues

Darren's mother calls Chris's mother.   
  
Apparently it's not the first time, which Chris didn't know and doesn't particularly like. There's not really much he can so about it, though.   
  
He can't even tell Darren so they can bitch about it together because what Darren's mother called about this time is a secret.

She wants Chris to go to New York with them to surprise Darren for an orchestra performance he's in. He's flying over with the rest of the band three days early, with his parents and Chuck flying in the day of the show.

"I can go, right?" Chris nervously leans forward on the couch. His foot tap-tap-taps against the ground. His parents wouldn't say no, would they? He's practically eighteen. He's responsible.

He's already formulating the argument in his mind, but it doesn't need to be. It takes agreeing to a long list of rules and promising to check in with them twice a day but they let him go.

*

Chris has never been to New York before. He's never traveled without his parents before. He's certainly never traveled with the parents of a significant other before.

His father drives him to San Francisco. He meets Darren's parents at Darren's house. He's never been there without Darren before. He's nervous as he sits on the couch and waits, watching Chuck and Cerina fuss between each other about if whether converse are dressy enough and if he really needs a button up.

"Darren would appreciate me subverting the system and upsetting the status quo," Chuck argues.

"But Darren is not your mother. Button up! And no attitude or I'll make you wear a tie!" She shouts, voice following up the stairs. She looks at Chris and winks. "Teenage boys. They're so hard to make presentable. Except you. Such a sweet, quiet boy - why couldn't I get one of those?"

Chris laughs and blushes.

*

He sits by Chuck on the plane. He's nervous about that, too. He's always gotten along better with adults than people his age, and Chuck is near enough. Chuck is quieter than Darren and a little more serious, but half an hour in they stumble over a topic they have common ground with and suddenly it's not so bad.

They spend half the flight watching movies on the screens in front of them but Chuck falls asleep eventually. Chris pulls his laptop out, a faint involuntary smile on his face when he sees his background - himself and Darren, during their spring break trip.

They'd seen each other at least once a month over the summer, long weekends and sometimes just meeting halfway between them. Only when Darren had no meetings or rehearsals and only when Chris's parents would let him borrow one of their cars, but they still managed it pleasantly often.

Then school started, both of them in their senior years, and it was busier than ever. He hasn't seen Darren in a month and a half, their relationship relegated back to the internet.

It's not so bad. They've got plenty of practice, and now they spend half their time looking forward to the future. They're applying to the same college, and Darren's offers of tutoring (actual tutoring, usually over skype) have helped Chris's grades enough that he might actually get into the same school Darren does.

If not, he'll just do community college nearby. He's fine with that; it's not like his goals had been all that loftier before he'd met Darren.

Darren has his list of places he wants to go but maybe, Chris thinks, if Darren likes New York enough they'll even look at schools here.

*

When they land and Chris can turn his phone back on, he feels bad. He has a dozen messages from Darren, increasingly nervous and concerned.

He feels guilty that he hadn't been around to answer any of them. He feels even guiltier when he sends Darren an apology text that is total fabrication, blaming it on the dog chewing his charger and having to buy a new one.

Darren believes it, of course. Chris loves the truth Darren has in him. He knows the lie will be found out soon enough but hopefully Darren will be happy enough to see him that it won't matter.

They barely have time to check into the hotel, eat lunch, and change clothes before they have to be at the theater Darren's performing at.

"Mrs. Criss?" Chris asks, cringing internally at how his voice cracks. "I know we're in a hurry, but do you mind if I go do something really quickly?"

He spotted a florist next door to the hotel.

"Just be back in five minutes. And don't get into any cars with strangers!" Cerina calls after him. "Your mother would kill me!"

*

Darren's amazing. Chris doesn't even think to breathe the entire time he's doing his solo. It's incredible. He blows it out of the water.

He also looks shockingly handsome, dressed up in a way Chris has never seen before. Tux, bowtie, hair neatly tamed.

Chris gets terrifyingly vivid mental images of what Darren would look like standing in front of an alter dressed like that, but they're so far away from that kind of moment between them that he pushes the thoughts as far away as he can.

*

Afterward, they wait by the stage door.

Darren's one of the first out, scanning the crowd of parents and family members and supporters, looking for his family.

He sees Chris instead, and his jaw drops.

Chris thrusts the roses he's holding at Darren and says, "Hi."

Darren takes the roses, holding them off to the side, and lunges at Chris. "You're here!"

"I am." Chris hugs back with both arms.

"How-"

"Your parents." Chris gestures over to them with one arm, not letting go with the other.

"Oh! Mom! Dad!" Darren tears himself away to hug them, and then high fives Chuck. He bounces his way back to Chris immediately, though. "You brought Chris!"

It's not even a thank you, not a proper one, but the tone of Darren's voice makes it into one.

*

They all go out to dinner, and Chris and Darren hold hands the entire time under the table.

"Do I have to stay with the rest of the class?" Darren looks over at Chris. "Can I stay in the room with them?"

"If your teacher lets you, but Chuck is in the other bed," Charles says.

"Seriously. Don't forget. I'm in the other bed." Chuck gives both of them a stern glare.

Darren shrugs sheepishly. "Fine."

*

Darren has another performance the next day.

There are talks of talent scouts and schools and all of it makes Chris slightly queasy as he begins to realize how talented Darren really is and how many doors that talent opens for him. everyone wants to discuss Darren's future.

But he feels better because every time Darren talks about his own future, he talks about Chris being a part of it, too.

Later that night while Chuck is in the shower, they lay in bed together. They're kissing a little, and holding hands, but mostly just talking.

Chris tells him about his thoughts; about how he wouldn't mind New York. About how wherever Darren ends up, Chris can find something there to do. He's aimless on his own future, like a spinning top and he's not sure he even cares where he lands anymore.

But Darren disagrees. Darren shakes his head and kisses Chris again and says, "No. You want to write, don't you? And I don't really want to go to some stuffy performing arts school. I want a real college - we can find a college with a good theater program and a good writing program. We're both gonna be kickass at what we do, Chris."

Chris soaks in those words. He soaks in the idea that someone believes in him that much. "I love you," he whispers, leaning his head on Darren's shoulder.

When he wakes up in the morning Darren is already gone. He has morning rehearsals and then some kind of meet and greet lunch, so Chris won't see him until later in the afternoon.

He grabs his phone to call his parents and sees a little 1 by his email icon. He opens it, smiling when he sees that it's from Darren. It's just like every morning email, long and detailed.

He starts to read,

_Woke up this morning in the best way possible, with this total hottie drooling on my shoulder..._


	6. Fragile

"What are you doing here?" Chris asks, pale as a ghost and shaking. "You're not supposed to be here."   
  
Darren almost drops the flowers in his hand. "Chris?"   
  
Chris looks at him, looks back at the crowd of people watching them, and then storms out.

*

It takes Darren almost half an hour to find him.

No one helps him look. No one even speaks to him, not a single person in the room showing an ounce of concern for Chris.

One of them says, "Whoa, Colfer really is a fag?"

Darren flips him off, and then he storms out, too. He does find a few teaches, but none of them have seen Chris.

So Darren just wanders around, looking in every unlocked door, in every bathroom, in every closet.

He finally finds Chris in what must be a theater room. There's a curtain and Chris is behind it, sitting on the floor with his knees drawn up to his chest.

"You look good in a suit," Darren says. He's still holding the flowers.

Chris rubs a hand over his cheek. "I thought you'd have left."

"No way," Darren says. He sits down beside Chris, putting the flowers on the ground on his other side.

*

Almost twenty minutes pass before Chris talks.

"I'm sorry," he says. "I wish you weren't here, though."

Ow. Ow. Ow. Darren blinks hard, not wanting to make it worse. "I can go."

Chris actually trembles so hard Darren can see it. It worries him. "No. Don't. Please-"

The desperation in his voice is even more unsettling.

"Okay. Hey, I'm here, okay? I'm here." Darren wants to reach for him but he's totally lost right now. He has no clue what's going on in Chris's mind.

"I just - this is going to make things so bad. This is just... so bad." He's choked up again.

Hearing Chris so upset is the worst feeling in the world. Darren's whole heart hurts with it.

"I'm sorry. You didn't want me to come. I get that." Darren's trying so hard not to reveal how much that hurts. Whatever Chris is dealing with must be worse, if it's driving him to this. "You're not... out?"

"I'm out." Chris shrugs. "I just never _came_ out."

"So you're not out."

"They still know."

"Chris." Darren puts a hand on Chris's arm. He can't anymore, he can't _not_ touch Chris. "You never came out."

"I never got to come out. It was never my choice." He wipes his face again with his free hand. The other turns so that his palm is up. "It's not because of you. I just..."

Darren takes the opening and slides their fingers together. He waits.

"They're so awful. The things they say to me. About me. I've had to put up with it for years. If it's that bad when I never even admitted it..." He shrugs. "I'm not you. I'm a coward. I'm sorry."

"Don't call my boyfriend a coward." Darren squeezes his hand. "Or I'll have to kick your ass."

Chris laughs, wet and choked. "I am, though."

"My boyfriend? Yeah. A coward? No, you're not. You're brave as fuck. It's easy for me to be out. Where I live, no one cares. If anyone calls me a fag, they're the ones that get looked at funny, not me." Darren still feels bad - he feels bad in the petty little ways, because the mark of Chris has bled into everything Darren is and does but Chris has this whole life where no one even knows Darren exists - but he gets the scale of things here. He gets that this is big for Chris, that fear is real for Chris in a way it isn't for him, and if that means Darren has to deal with some shit then Darren will just deal with that shit. "Hey, look. I'm here for the weekend, okay? We can ditch this thing - go catch a movie or something."

"You surprised me. At my prom. And I took off." Chris looks at him and smiles just a little bit. "And I reacted like that, and you still want to take me out?"

"Of course," Darren says. He'd take Chris anywhere that Chris asked right now.

"I've been sitting here imagining all the different things you might say as you broke up with me," Chris admits.

"Not getting rid of me that easy, okay?" Darren reassures him. "So. Come on."

Chris lets Darren help him to his feet.

Darren is planning on leaving the flowers as an unwanted memento of a plan gone horribly awry, but Chris bends down and picks them up.

"You don't have to-" Darren starts to say.

Chris gives him a shy little smile. "You surprised me at my prom."

"But you didn't want me to," Darren points out.

Chris shrugs. "But you meant it to be romantic. And I love that you wanted to, even if... you know."

Darren doesn't really know - or doesn't want the reminder - but he nods anyway. He's happy if Chris is happy, and at least Chris isn't crying anymore.

*

They don't go see a movie.

Instead Chris asks if he can drive Darren's car and he takes them to one of his favorite places in town, a little clearing with a park behind the local library.

The gate is locked so they have to hop a fence, but once they're in they sit side by side on the swingset holding hands and swaying back and forth.

"I'm not ashamed of you," Chris says, looking over at Darren. "I promise. As soon as we're somewhere besides here, I'll shout it from the rooftops."

It's an almost-apology, so Darren offers one of his own. "I hope you don't get too much shit in school on Monday."

Chris shrugs. "I only have to be here another couple of months anyway. I'll live."

"Fuck yeah you will." Darren smiles at him.

Chris hops up and pulls his phone out of his pocket. Music starts and gets louder as Chris thumbs the volume all the way up. He puts it down on the swing set and then holds a hand out to Darren. "Dance with me?"

Darren feels flush with warmth, everything instantly forgiven and all the hurts not mended completely but still soothed with one sweet gesture.


End file.
